Log in

No account? Create an account
everything ED's Journal [entries|friends|calendar]
everything ED

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

starting bulimia and looking for a buddy [23 May 2009|04:13pm]

[ mood | hopeful ]

Well Im new here =]]
and im looking for a bulimia buddy so message me if you're interested.
Ive only been bulimic for about 3 weeks now and im loving the results..except I ate the last three days without purging and ive gained 4 pounds =/
My stats are
CW:195..wow..that was hard..[[Not even my mom knows how much i weigh..and now here it is for the whole world to see, Im so ashamed]]
GW:150..very reasonable I think..I want a goal I know that I can reach..I dont want to be bones..I only want to be beautiful.

Every morning is getting harder for me to wake up..Im tired of hating myself and constantly worrying about my theighs or my stomache..I wish i could describe my feelings without sounding whinny or pathetic but I have hit rock bottem..all I want is to be happy..and the first step to get there is to loose this weight and then Ill go on from there.


post comment

[21 May 2009|10:58pm]


Hey. My name is Emily. I decided to actually participate in a support group…I could probably use the support. I was diagnosed with anorexia when I was 12. I guess it all started when I felt that I needed to prove myself in gym class when I was in fifth grade to a group of boys that I beat in a sit-up fitness test. I did more than anyone else in the class…including all of the boys. One boy that I had a crush on didn’t believe that I did more than him, so I told him that I’d prove it to him when we had our next fitness test at the end of the month. That’s when I started to exercise at home. I guess it just went downhill from there. Began to exercise excessively and cut back on junk foods. Became aware of my body and started to really care about my body image. It just spiraled out of control. I’ve been to numerous therapists, nutritionalists, and tried so many medications. I have gone to Pittsburgh Hospital to both the inpatient unit and outpatient unit. That was absolute hell. Especially the inpatient. When I got out of there, I promised myself that if I ever had to go back in there, I would run away. Somehow, I would find a way to get out. I had been in IP twice and they were both the worst times of my life. 

Fast forward seven years to now. I’m 19 years old. I’ve been up and down…through decent times and back to bad times. I have started to relapse/go downhill since my first year of college. I have been overexercising (at least that is what my parents say). I get soooo stressed out whenever something changes, like the transition from college back to home for the summer months. I’m sorry this is such a long first entry…I didn’t know what was important and what wasn’t important to put down. I left so much out! But truthfully, I’d be surprised if anyone has even read this far. I’d probably have gotten too bored and left if I was reading this. But seriously, I would really like to get to know people and pitch in any kind of help that I can and hopefully receive support from you guys. 

post comment

[28 Dec 2008|06:01pm]

[ mood | busy ]

Hey I'm new to this community and am hoping to give/receive support and get some suggestions on how to restrict more successfully.


Age: 21
Height: 5'4"
HW: 180
LW: 120
CW: 171
STGW1: 150
STGW2: 130
LTGW: 110

post comment

[17 Nov 2008|10:29pm]

Hey, my name is Sandra, and i've been suffering from EDNOS for almost 4 years now.
Cw: ~128
Lw: 113,5 ;//
height. 172.5 so almost 5'8

I'm making a project about eating disorders, and so I'd be pretty pleased if you guys would help me out by answering these questions:

1.Type of ed ?
2.When did it all start + age atm ?
3.What do you think triggered your ed ?
4.Have you tried to get help / Have you been forced to get help ?
5.Please do feel free to tell about your experiences

thank you already so much !

ps. here's some thinspo for u guys!
post comment

stats [05 Jul 2008|10:48pm]
hello everyone :]
i just joined this community so here are my stats...
hw: 111
cw: 111
lw: 92!!!
height: 5'4"

i'm planning on starting the 2468 tomorrow...
opinions anyone???

goodnight ladies and gents :]
2 comments|post comment

Questionnaire [21 Jun 2008|08:00pm]

 Hi everyone,

Im currently a year twelve student from Australia, completeing my HSC, and for my major project I am researching the factors that contribute to the development of eating disorders. Im conducting multiple surveys for this topic, and was wondering if any one here would be interested in completeing one for me? The surveys are completely anonymos, and I would really love any imput your willing to give.

So if anyone is interested, could you please leave a comment with your email address. Im sorry for any inconviencance about the emails, but for my research to be considered valid, it must be done via email.

Thank you for your time =)
1 comment|post comment

just joined. [20 Jun 2008|09:03pm]

 ok well hi everyone. i jsut joined this community.
my names daniela
here are my stats

hw: 172

height: 5'2

well today was decent. had less than 200 cals. i was supposed to be fasting but i broke that fast around dinner time because my mom made me eat dinner. but tomorrow is a new day. or well actually today since it is 12:05 AM here. i have my friends 16th bday party today. kinda dreading it, but i'll get thru it. i jsut cant eat. i wont eat. i plan on going to the gym at around 10 stay there for about 1-2 hours. then come home shower and go to her party and go swimming and burn more calories =] i love working out. it feels so great! 

hope everyone else had a great day!!

post comment

[07 Jun 2008|03:30pm]

so i broke my foot running. dont ask me how i did it, i dont even know!
ahah i guess i ran too much last week..
so now, ive been sitting at home with absolutely nothing to do.
just sitting.
and i get so tempted!
so now:
HW: 116.6
CW: 113.6
LW: 107.58
GW: 85.8
Height: 5'1

i gained like 4 pounds.
and i just cant keep away from food.
i really need thinspo. PLEASE HELP ME!!!
im giving up!!!!!!!!!!!

anyways, my "monthly friend" came
and he only stayed for 1 day and a half.
OMG! that is i think the second best part of not-eating, after getting thinner ^^

I AM -
[ ] anorexic but i have bulimic "episodes"
[x] ednos
[ ] bulimic
[ ] living off diet pills
[x] hungry
[ ] drinking something
[ ] Under 100lbs
[x] wanting to be "under-100-by end of june"
[x] starving yourself
[x] participating in a fast with other people

[ ] ask if i'm anorexic/bulimic
[x] call me fat
[dear god I wish] say i'm too skinny
[ ] say i'm ugly
[x] say i'm pretty
[x] spread rumors about me
[ ] force me to eat
[x] say i eat too much
[] wish i'd stop
[x] don't know I'm anorexic/bulimic

[x] i was THIN
[x] i had a better body
[x] i didn't have to eat
[x] i could control myself
[X] i was under 100lbs
[x] i could avoid food
[x] i could hide what i am
[x] i wasn't fat
[x] i was pretty
[ ] i could stop

[x] feeling hungry
[] shaking
[x] being weak, becuase i know i'm losing weight
[x] losing weight
[x] being anorexic/bulimic
[] green tea
[x] diet soda
[x] coffee
[ ] laxatives
[ ] diet pills
[x] being able to turn down food
[x] feeling good about myself

post comment

i cant get out of bed [02 Jun 2008|03:34pm]

I don't ever want to get up.  i feel tired all the time... I've gained and I feel like a huge pile of lard.  I have a job interview today so I had to force myself to shower and get ready.  Im so ugly. makeup cant help me.  nothing i wear will hide my fat.  I've gained so much weight so nothing fits me right.  it makes me want to hide under the covers all day.  i dont want anyone to look at me.  my thighs are disgusting.

CW 119
LW 105
HW 127
post comment

[21 May 2008|07:09pm]

Wow I am finally doing really good. I'm watching Pageant Place and its really good thinspiration. I also am just sick of being fat. I had to fight the urge earlier to eat a handful of some chex mix. I feel really good about being able to fast for the next 7 days. I hope in that time I can take off at least 20lbs. Anyone wanna join my im is shalynnluv19@yahoo.com thinspoCollapse )
post comment

I need some support..please [08 May 2008|01:14am]

I have done freaking horrible the past two days. I mean, I've had one binge each day were I ate until my stomach hurt. Like where you eat even when your stomach is completely full and feels stretched but you still eat. Does anyone else feel like you can literally feel yourself getting fatter? Like when you walk you feel your legs are heavier? I'm uber stressed so maybe that's it. I need some words of encouragement, please:)I need to get back on track. I cant get heavier I have to be thin.
post comment

[05 May 2008|10:26am]

[ mood | blank ]

Do you ever look through your mobile phonebook, and see who you can text when you're feeling absolutely the lowest of the lows.. only to realise there's no one you can talk to?

I messaged 5 friends yesterday, trying to keep my mind off how depressed and shitty I felt...Collapse )


2 comments|post comment

no i dont know how to use lj-cut [25 Apr 2008|12:51pm]

Again, today is going really good. I fasted pretty easily yesterday. Today seems to be going the same. I think I'm going to go shopping today. Since I don't regularly weigh myself, this is how I measure my progress. The size paints that I bought about 5 days ago are really baggy! yeah!!

post comment

[22 Apr 2008|09:50pm]

mod(s), if this is unallowed, please let me know and i'll take it down as soon as possible!

i'm here to promote a new community, angularspines.

it is dedicated to the support of others with a current eating disorder. membership is moderated due to the fact this community's purpose is to encourage active participation, not just people posting but people who make useful comments. unfortunately, there are restrictions, but it's simply to preserve the integrity of the community. posts are not limited to nutrition but any other personal question you might have about anything, if only to get your mind focused on other things if it helps, etc.
1 comment|post comment

new. [02 Apr 2008|06:10pm]

hai. i'm new, however i've had ana for about 3 months. ironically, my name is anna.
i'm good support.
&i started abc today.
1 comment|post comment

[02 Apr 2008|11:28pm]
I can't believe I am writing on this board, but here goes..... HI,
I am a 22 year old girl and am desperately unhappy and would like someone to give me some advice..if thats ok?
I am worried, no that's the wrong word. I am sure I must have some sort of ED. I have always thought myself to be a bit on the plump side even though my friends and family tell me I'm not. About 8 years ago when I was about 16, I started to cut down what I was eating and joined every single after school sports club there was. I began losing weight and felt happier about myself. Then eventually people started noticing what I was doing so I had to start eating more to get them off my back. So I started making myself sick and doing more excercise to stop myself putting the weight back on from the food I was having to eat more of. Next,
I started taking laxatives taking 20-30 a day at my lowest point. At the some point around this time I was diagnosed with depression and started seeing a cognitive behavioral therapist. I didn't tell her anything about my eating habits, but once I got about 3 months into the therapy, I could see what I was doing was wrong. I started to feel better about myself and began eating normally, stopped taking the laxatives and I was so proud of myself for dong it on my own! I thought I was cured....unfortunately, my laxative abuse had made me develop Irritable Bowel syndrome, which I am now on medication for.
Unfortunately, a year later, things started going bad again. The last 6 years have been a bit up and down. I had a miscarraige when I turnt 17 and since then everything feels like it has gone downhill. I have been put on and off of anti depressants 4 times in as many years and noticed my problems were coming back with my eating habits about 3 and half years ago. Now I feel completely out of control. I hate my body so much all I see is this hideous fat ugly girl in the mirror and feel like i will be alone forever....how could anyone possibly ever want me the way i am..mentally and physically?
I feel like i'm now trapped in this thing. All I think about every day is being thin as I know I will be much happier then. I find myself alternating between starving myself and stuffing myself, which then leads to making myself sick and starving myself again. I weight myself every morning and then again as soon as I get home from work and then one last time before going to bed. I do this everyday as a ritual, stepping on the scales 3 times at each of the 3 daily ''weigh-ins' just to make sure I have taken the correct measurement each time..to double check the scales haven't gone up. If they have, I am devestated and it affects my mood for the whole day and keeps me awake at night.
About 3 months ago I found myself at an all time low and started using Ipecac syrup, which isn't avaliable in the UK so I had to have it shipped from the US. I have also started using laxatives again.
The long and short of this is that I now find myself being stuck at the weight I am (10 stone 7) so all of this has been some pointless journey to become thin when I still am not. worse still, I stupidly know I am making my Irritible Bowel Syndrome worse by my renewed used of laxatives. God knows what else I have done to myself, but stupid though I know it is...I CANNOT STOP.  And I don't know why.I think maybe because it is like a comfort having a secret that no one else knows about but me....until now.
But this cannot go on and I am frightened, but I also too ashamed to talk to anyone, and partly, I am not ready
Is this ''thing'' Bulimia? Is there anyone who can tell me how I can get myself better?

1 comment|post comment

hi [02 Apr 2008|10:38pm]

anyone have any good distraction tips?
lyl leigh xoxo 
1 comment|post comment

[22 Mar 2008|04:58pm]


anyone no any good tricks to help keep my mind off food

2 comments|post comment

[11 Mar 2008|03:33pm]

I broke my fast a little   I got some m and m from that 25c machine twice grrrrrrrrrrrr! Does anyne know how many calories that is?
post comment

cleanses [15 Dec 2007|09:24pm]
hey guys! so I've heard that one of the greatest ways to loose weight is cleansing, like the Master Cleanse. It gets rid of the toxins and fatty tissues in your body so you shed a lot of weight, plus after your done you dont have cravings anymore for bad shit. The thing is, I can't find ANYWHERE any info on it! Does anyone know what the process is/ how you do it? I really wanna try it!
4 comments|post comment

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]